In Loving Memory

It has been a while again. Unfortunately it is because I was busy helping take care of my Terminally ill Mother. She had been battling breast cancer for 10 years, and on January 6th, 2009 we found out that her cancer had spread to her brain. We helped her get on a hospice service ( the same one that she had worked for as an R.N. a few years ago before she went on disability due to her cancer). She was able to be cared for at home by her husband ( my step dad) Me and my 3 younger sisters, my 3 close cousins, my 2 aunts, my step sister, and the hospice team that visited a few times a week.

On Sunday February 8th , 2009 my mother went home to Heaven. She went peacefully, with lots of family close by to hold her hand. I miss her very much.

My mom and I had a very close relationship, It is hard to believe that she will not be here to see Kaydee come home from Taiwan, or watch her children and grandchildren grow. I know that her spirit lives on in all of us who loved her so much, but things just don't feel right without her here.
My mom was very brave and fought a very long, hard fight against breast cancer. She was only 58 years old, she should have had many more years here with us. Still, I know that God is in control and that His eye is on all of His children. I know He has a plan for each of us while we are on this earth. The time that my mom had on this earth was short, but it was filled with love. Her life touched so many. It was evident as we all pulled together for the last month of her life. As a small but mighty group of family and caregivers we were able to provide her with round the care clock, and my mom was able to be surrounded by people who genuinely loved and cared for her. Each one of us had experienced so much of her love, there is no where else we would have been. I was able to spend many nights by her side holding her hand, saying how much I loved her, and praying for her when she was asleep. I am grateful for the time I had with her.

It has taken me awhile to be able to sit and put my thoughts on paper. It is hard to express in words exactly what it is I am feeling about losing my mom. This is a tribute I want to make to her:

Angels

My mother loved angels. In fact, I am named Angela because I was her first daughter and she felt that I was her little Angel sent from heaven. My mom loved me unconditionally. throughout my life she was the one person who I knew would never judge me, or abandon me in my time of need. She was always there for me.
My mom believed in Angels, she also had an angel collection. The first thing you would notice as you walked in my mother's house was her extensive angel collection. Shelves and shelves of Angels. People would often give them to her as gifts, and she knew each Angel and who it came from. At one point she thought about packing some of them away because she had so many, but she said she could not choose which ones to keep out or pack away, so they all had to stay out!

I believe in Angels too, but I never gave much thought about them until this last January when my mom became very, very sick. I prayed daily for my mother during this time, sometimes many times a day. I asked for God's peace and comfort for her and also for healing. There was a part of me that wanted to believe that if I prayed faithfully and earnestly, that God would heal my mom. When her condition deteriorated , I prayed that God's will would be done in her life, and that he would send His Angels to watch over her. His Angels, the ones she believed in, the ones she knew were always there. I finally felt that it was okay to put her life and mine in His Hands, and know that He was right there with us giving us peace, comfort, and strength to get through this difficult time. When my mom passed away, and was able to leave this world behind, I know that she was being guided safely home to Jesus by God's beautiful Angels. I pray that as she beheld all of God's glory in Heaven that she was able to hear the beautiful chorus of Angels and know that she had made it to her eternal home.

I love you Mom, and I miss you.
I know that you will always be with me in spirit. I will see you again when we are reunited in heaven.

Many blessings,

Angie